Euro English

The European commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year plan in phases that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will be replaced the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.


The sekond year, There will be growing publik enthousiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 % shorter.




In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is desgraseful, and they should go away.


By the fourth yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sach as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v".


During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU.